"Witty quotes mean nothing"- Voltaire
"Grabel's Law: Two is not equal to Three, not even for very large values of Two."
If you're so smart, why aren't you naked?
"I'll KILL YOU IN MY DREAMS
I'LL TURN THE OTHER
CHEEK DURING THE DAY
I'LL KILL YOU ALL."
                       HeroPsychoDreamer by Live
"All morning I worked on the proof of one of my poems, and I took out a
                                  comma; in the afternoon I put it back."
                                                                  Oscar Wilde
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." 
       Oscar Wilde
Tenet Number 94 in Balthasar Gracian's
    centuries-old The Art of Worldly Wisdom states: "The wise
    person does not allow his knowledge and abilities to be sounded
    to the bottom, if he desires to be honored by all-He allows you to
    know him but not to comprehend him." 
I found Jesus. He said, "Tag! You're it!
"The most difficult struggle of all is the one within ourselves.  Let us
not get accustomed and adjusted to these conditions.  The one who
adjusts ceases to discriminate between good and evil.  He becomes a
slave in body and soul.  Whatever may happen to you, remember always:
Don't adjust!  Revolt against the reality!" - Mordechai Anielewicz,
Warsaw, 1943
"Poit! Zort! Narffff...." - From the collected sayings of Pinky
"Yes, we are all idiots, but inevitably, so are you"
Use your powers for good, not for evil.  Well, you
_can_ use them for evil if you want, but it voids the warranty.
"At least when we have a World Series we invite the other countries"
                                                             John Cleese
Geography is just therapy for imperialists.
This is a longstanding urban legend, but it has been proven that it
wasn't true. It's too good a story to spoil, though, so this didn't stop
the town council getting someone from the Soviet embassy to go to
Berwick in 1966 to sign a formal peace treaty between Berwick
and the USSR. This resulted in the memorable declaration that "the good
people of Russia can sleep soundly in their beds, in the knowledge that
they won't be attacked by Berwick"!
Yes. It was at war with Russia until 1966, after declaring war in 1854
(? I can vouch for the first date). Berwick rangers soccer team play in
the Scottish national league. By a treaty in the 1500s Berwick is
neither Scottish nor English, but the creeping absorbtion into
Northumbira suggests it is becoming the latter.
"I do not know, men of Athens, what you have felt in listening to my
accusers, but they almost made me forget myself, they spoke so
plausibly."
        -Socrates
"Death has been proven to be 99 per cent fatal in laboratory rats."
"We feel sorry for people who don't drink because when you get up in
 the morning that's as good as you're going to feel for the rest of 
 the day."
                                                -Frank Sinatra
"I no longer feel the need to act physically towards people I hate,  I know live with the comfort 
that one day they will be dead and their carcass will be eaten by maggots."
-Chris Smith
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans." 
     -- Ronald Reagan
Darn right!  No government should be allowed to keep a tax-paying, god
fearing citizen from strapping a couple hundred thousand Estes rocket
motors to a kerosene tanker with the hope she'll make orbit.  If it
lands on some stupid, third world country, well it serves them right
for not investing in an ABM system!
     - Someone in sci.space.policy -
"Legitimate violence is integral to our form of government, for it is from
this source that we can continue to purge our weaknesses."
      -quote from an early instruction manual of the California Specialized 
       Training Institute, a school for police and military commandos.
' The Irony of the Information Age is that it gives new respectability to
uninformed opinion'
John Lawton
" No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick
     and tired of putting up with her shit. "
...and they shall pave the road to Glory with thy skulls.
                                                     Graham Sheckels
"For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind"
"His displeasure was communicated partly by the barking hectoring quality
of his voice and partly by the viciousness with which he waved a long
silver  gun at them.  The designer of the gun had clearly
not been instructed to beat about the bush.  "Make it evil," he'd been
told.  "Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong
end.  Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that
things are going badly for them.  If that means sticking all sort of
spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it.  This is
not a gun for hanging over the fire place or sticking in an umbrella stand,
it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with."
With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three 
thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation 
Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist 
that there is no such thing as progress.
     -- Ransom K. Ferm
"Scots wha hae wi' Wallace Bled
 Scots wham Bruce has aften lead,
 Welcome to your gory bed
 Or ta victorie!"
     -Bobby Burns...
" Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity "
Growing old is mandatory.  Growing up is optional.
"You will never know pleasure until you have tasted pain."
"Pain has a face, allow me to show it to you"
"Even now in Heaven there are Angels carrying savage weapons"
Nearby a Dire Avenger sat cross-legged by the body of her fallen comrade.
She had removed her mask and crystal bright tears ran down her face.
He knew her name was Talessa.
He placed his hands on his own mask and toyed with the idea of removing it.
He did not.
Everyone is a .sig critic.
A single dagger at midnight sows greater terror then a thousand swords at dawn
"Only poofs complain when they get blown up by a land-mine.  Me and the 
General had a good laugh about it."  
-British soldier who lost a leg to a mine, but managed to walk across the Sahara.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mindkiller. Fear is the
little death that brings total obliteration. I will face
my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to
see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be
nothing. Only I will remain."
'Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.'
"Only the insane have strength enough to prosper.  Only those who prosper
may truly judge what is sane."
      "Don't worry about Master Luke...  He's quite clever,
                 you know... for a human being."
"Boredom is for sale now, and helplessness you feel, |  The Eleventh Hour,
 It's a wounded dove, and the hawks are above,         |        -Rancid
 blood splattering reel to reel"                                    |
"Sanity is simply the majority and I pride myself on being differant."
 -Matt Hemmer
"The perimeter sensors are picking up subspace oscillations.  What
the hell does that mean?"  -Major Kira Nerys, DS9
"You might not be interested in war, but war is interested in you."
                           -Leon Trotsky
"And although he'd not accept,  She was gone and so he wept
 Then a demon came to him,  'You must know that I'm gonna win'"
     -Lifeless Dead, by Mad Season
"Why are you digging a hole?"  - Hobbes
"I'm looking for buried treasure!"  - Calvin
"What have you found?"
"A few dirty rocks, a weird root, and some disgusting grubs."
"On your first try??"
"There's treasure everywhere!"
-Calvin & Hobbes
IT'S A MAGICAL WORLD
(by Bill Waterson)
"Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't
deserve it!"
Calvin 
" People used to tell me that I was arrogant, but now I'm
     fucking perfect. "
"Beavis, shut up. You've never been to Compton, you're never gonna go to
Compton. You're stupid. You have no money.  And your never gonna score."
" heh-heh, oh,  yeah."
  Gorkamorka More Dakka Than You Can Shake a Squig At
"Make the choice yours, when the time draws nie:  a bright day to live, a
grey day to die..."
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
"I have tried prudent planning long enough;
from now on, I'll be mad"
--Jelaludin Rumi (Mathnawi, II, 2330-2332)
Love: (n) 1. the delusion that one woman differs from another.
--H. L. Mencken
"No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is
probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me"
                                       -from "Becoming an Evil Overlord"
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of
Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking
becomes a warning, it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
   "You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way
      of eating jellybeans." -- Ronald Reagan
By yourself you are nothing. It is only by relation to other
living things that you achieve identity. Without the parent
there is no child, without a lover you are not one either.
Value living things. They are all you have become.
"Bother," said Pooh, "Eeyore, ready two photon torpedoes and lock
phasers on the Heffalump, Piglet, meet me in transporter room three"
"Dreaming something won't make it happen, 
but not dreaming something will make it not happen"
He had been our Destroyer, the doer of things
We dreamed of doing but could not bring ourselves to do,
The fears of years, like a biting whip,
Had cut deep bloody grooves
Across our backs.
    -Etheridge Knight
The meek shall inherit the Earth
           the rest of us are going to the Stars!
                 There's a shadow on the wall where the paint is peeling,
                 My body's moving forward but my mind is reeling,
                 Depression is a fundamental state of being,
                 It doesn't really matter how my day has turned out,
                 I always end up living in this world of doubt.
The Eagle and the Arrow 
                 A bowman took aim at an eagle and struck him in the heart. 
                 As the eagle turned his head in the agony of death, he saw 
                 that the arrow was winged with his own feathers. 
                 "How sharper and more painful," said he, "are the wounds 
                 made by weapons we ourselves have supplied!" 
                 - Aesop.